What I learned as a wife, woman and mother

Repeating the samething over and over again can be very stressful because your basically telling someone something and after you have said it you expect a change or a different result from before.

What I learned?

I learned that the problem was not them and their listening skills. The problem was me for repeating it because I had to realize that because I said something over and over again did not mean I was going to get my way. I realized that those I had to keep repeating myself to simply just did not want to do it. After stating something make sure that you ask what will be done about it. Find out if everyone agrees, how it will be done, etc. That way you can make any necessary changes so that the task can be carried out. Never assume someone wants to do something. Most likely they don't because if they did then they would be doing it all along.

Afraid?...What I learned...

Sometimes its just fear from doing something different because you have been use to the same routine for years. Those that have children may even feel guilty for wanting to do things without the family.




The same way you created a habit/responsibility to begin with, you can do the same as your life changes. Children go off to college,or move out,so now your day to day schedule changes.

I'm a big fan of writing in a journal. Write what you would like to do and what you enjoy doing and take the steps to accomplishing them and create new daily habits and routines.



We all get a little anxiety of the unknown, but once you begin your new life, you will realize that now you can focus on you, which is..........A BEGINNING:)

As a sister...

Rivalry between sisters were apart of my family. We would not talk and sometimes even say hurtful things that we allowed to effect our relationship.

What I learned?

Life is to short. I learned unconditional love and that it takes two to be a hot head. I love my sisters and I will never waste another moment not having them in my life. We all learned that we all have flaws but most importantly, we love each other and we  also love and appreciate each others strengths and gifts.

What I learned as a Mother,Person, Woman

I use to be so hurt over my children talking to people that has hurt me in one form or another.

What I learned?

That I am responsible as to how I allow a situation to effect me, so I should not take offense. I learned to congratulate myself for raising my children for giving people unconditional love. I also learned that just because they talked with them, doesn't mean that my children are purposely hurting me. I'm allowing that to hurt me, so I learned to turn that hurt into understanding.

As a Friend/Person

When I would get hurt from someone that I knew, I use to be in shock and disappointed about what they did. Especially if they hurt me. It created trust issues. I didn't trust anymore and nothing shocked me. Made me bitter and sometimes knumb at heart.

What I learned?

When people hurt you, it has nothing to do with you. Its them. They have issues and sometimes those issues hurt the people that love them because of their actions. Betrayal is a hard thing, but remember you can't think everyone will betray you because you might be missing out in establishing real friendships.

As a Woman/Wife

I use to look at myself in the mirror and say, why does he want others when I'm showing love and I keep my looks up. I just didn't understand it. I started to feel ugly inside and out. I was so confident and now, self conscious.

What I learned:

I learned that I'm not the problem, it was him. I learned to look at myself from the inside and out and I improved in areas that I know I needed to improve but it doesn't work if only one partner does that. You both have to look inside yourselves. It will improve your relationship or you will both realize that you have to be apart. Bringing your insecurities into your relationship will ruin it. You can end up cheating and looking for others to make you feel good and sometimes you cross lines by not caring who you hurt. You can also end up creating trust issues.The person doing the hurting will eventually have the other person never trusting and that will only be creating another problem. It can be a never ending problem.

I also learned to love myself and not to use my past negative circumstances to ruin my future. We can't change people. They have to want to change.

As a friend

I use to always be there for my friends. Gave them advise when they asked for it, take them in when they needed a place, gave to them when they needed.
What I learned as a friend...
I can't be there for my friend if they are counting on me because then I will be enabling them. They need to go through things just like many of us had to go through. That is how we develop character and life skills. Not by someone bailing us out.
I learned that whats good for me is not necessarily good for them,so I have learned to give advise that fits there life style and situation.
I also learned that you have to be careful in what you tell friends because your relationship can change. Use discretion.
I learned that someone who is asking many questions,may just have an ulterior motive.
I learned that a real friend is a friend that loves you when you don't have, a friend doesn't take and take without giving back, a friend loves you when you have, even if apart will always reach out some way and real friend doesn't hurt you. I learned that you don't have to speak or see your friend all the time, even when apart you are always a friend. Last but certainly not least....
A friend prays for you. and loves you unconditionally.

As a Woman/Person..

Many people count on you to help and to sacrafice many things that only you end up losing.
What I learned?
If your going to be the one that ends up hurt from giving, then you need to learn how to say "No". If they really love you, they won't stay upset. If they do, then their selfish because they only care about themselves.

As person...

I use to always say, I'm going to say what I want and how I feel. What did I learn? I learned that its not necessary to say it all. It can hurt others.

As a mom,wife,person

Forgiveness is not the hardest thing. Not TRUSTING is.
I held on to alot of anger because of what certain people did to me or did to my children.
What I learned?
I learned to forgive. It set me free.
What I have to learn as an adult?
Trust
Maybe I will master that one when I write "What I learned in 50 years:)"

As a person

I was so confused in what love was suppose to be. How it should feel. I allowed my experiences to confuse me about Love.
What I learned?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

—I Corinthians 13:4-8a

**If you follow this, then you know what love is and you won't settle for anything less. You may even have to teach someone what love is. The verses above, saids it all. Love should be with out conditions. It should be UNCONDITIONAL.
Another thing I learned....
I may not agree with what you do, but I still love you. As a mother and a friend I learned that.

As a wife

I use to feel like I wasn't appreciated. I would feel  as though I did so much and didn't receive the same.
What I learned?
A woman is suppose to be GREAT and sometimes in being Great we are often over looked. That shouldn't discourage you, thats what a virtuos woman does. Takes care of things. I also learned that with being a woman/wife/mother comes great responsibility and sacrifice. Some can do it and some can not.

Proverbs 31: 10

A wife of noble character who can find?


She is worth far more than rubies.



11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.



12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.



13 She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.



14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.



15 She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.



16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.



17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.



18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.



19 In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.



20 She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.



21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.



22 She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.



23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.



24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.



25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.



26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.



27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.



28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:



29 "Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all."



30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.



31 Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

As a person

I would find myself getting discouraged when things didn't work out and often I felt like giving up and sometimes I actually did.
What I learned?
I learned that when I feel discouraged I just have to think of another plan. Changing plans will change the circumstance, especially if the old one wasn't working.

As a child and As a person

I use to make excuses for my bad decisions by saying that such and such made me act that way. I use to make excuses about my hurt by justifying it by acting out.
What I learned?
If we allow what other people have done to us change us in a negative way then we are actually allowing them to control our life. When things happen in life, that should steer us in the direction of wanting better or being better.

As a mother..

As a mother we tend to hide what we are going through for the sake of the kids, but that will lead the kids into ignorance. You have  to use discretion though because they can't know everything. Sometimes in telling children things that they are not prepared to accept or hear,can make them confused and they can even end up turning on you,with too much information or not enough information. Its hard to make that call as to what to tell them and what not to tell them. Be prepared for the after effects of the truth. The truth is good, but when its told when someones mind is not mature enough to comprehend, that can lead to so many other problems.
Being once a child I know that children do not think about their mother's feelings not nearly as much as there own. And as a mother I learned that my own children view me the same way. As if I don't feel, as if I don't cry, as if I hadn't endured things. Sometimes they even see me as not knowing about life. Children also see the picture, but they didn't see what I had to go through to get that picture.
As a mother I learned that my children won't understand what it is like to be a parent, until they become one themselves.

As a daughter

As a daughter I learned that I was so selfish as many children are.
I regret it more now because I wish I could have made my mother smile and laugh more instead of cry. When I left my mother at 13 years old, I hurt her so much.
I should have never left. I wish I was well behaved. She didn't deserve that.
Growing up I realized that I really didn't think of her feelings, so I learned a really hard lesson. A lesson of regret.
So many things I went through in my life, I know my mother had to go through them and worse. I wish I could tell her how much I love her and what a strong woman she was. I can't though because shes gone. I miss her so much.
I learned how to appreciate my mother.

I feel compelled in starting this...

Its funny how we think we know it all at 20 and when 30 comes,we learn more and when 40 hits,you feel like you wasted so much time making the wrong decisions. You feel as though your on a mission to accomplish more and not make the same past mistakes. The truth is, its like starting all over. In my writing I will go over some life events. Some in details and some not in details, but I will have conclusions in what I learned from those experiences. Some are heart breaking, and some are pleasant, but yet and still, I learned alot. I learned how to be a better person, from my past mistakes.